Introspection...

The last few weeks have been a time for introspection. Here, I would like to say a big 'THANK-YOU', to all my friends, who during this time, happily shared chit-chat and alcohol, and tell them that all those times they thought I was 'happy from alcohol', I was actually in my 'Zen space' trying to make sense of it all! But now, back to the serious! Everything in life at this moment seems uncertain, unpredictable, wobbly if you will - I'm constantly looking for answers, searching for solutions, trying to reach decisions and getting nowhere! Maybe I'm just trying so hard, I can't see the forest for the trees or maybe I'm just plain dumb! Anyways, have decided to stop trying, let go and in true Zen fashion - surrender to the mysterious machinations of Life! If I've learnt anything so far this year - it's that I have 'NO CONTROL' over most of the important, life-changing events in my own Life - so this is it - I surrender.

For some reason I've been thinking a lot lately about the events of 26/11/08 - a Black Day for my beloved Mumbai & for the World. Maybe it's to do with life ending, changing as we know it, something that I can identify with all too well. Maybe it's to do with fresh starts and new beginnings and the capacity of the human spirit to survive the seemingly unsurvivable. It's an art I hope to learn, a skill I need to nurture. I wrote the first few lines of the poem last year but couldn't get ahead. When I did begin to write again it was strangely therapeutic - I guess it's a question of the right time. Apparently, that time is NOW.

She stands majestic by the sea,
Her brick walls steeped in history,
A century of memories, witnessing all,
Love, intrigue, scandals & balls,
The birthing of nations,
Coronations of kings,
Anniversaries, Birthdays,
Luncheons & things.
Yet after all that She had seen,
Tragedy loomed, grim, unseen.
On a black day in Time ,
When the nightmare began,
Her walls lay shattered,
O cowardly hand of man!
Milky marble burnt to cinders,
Hot coal fires, fatal embers.
Her spirit torn asunder,
By a billion silent screams,
Blood, blood everywhere,
Flowing crimson streams.
Dark those days and darker nights,
No respite, relief in sight,
The nightmare continued - endless, fey,
The sky coloured a morbid grey.
The world watched, as it always does,
Doing little, saying much!
Determined she battled for freedom & grace,
Wrenched herself free from Death's embrace,
Lives surrendered, Innocence lost,
Victory was hers, but alas the cost!
People cheered, forgot their fears,
Visions dimmed by happy tears,
She rose again, phoenix-like,
A beacon of hope from the ashes of Life!
If She can do it, perhaps so can I?
Spread my broken wings and fly,
High above in cloudless sky,
Spread my broken wings and fly!

- Harsha